Professional Photography ~ Photo Processing ~ Writing

Professional Photography ~ Photo Processing ~ Writing

Humorously Yours

Treats From The Bellagio

Dear R.....,

Thank you so much for the bag of treats from the Bellagio.

The house was kind of dark and cold when I got home and I was in a hurry to explore all the goodies and get the living room lit up and warm at the same time.

I tried to light the cute little candles I found in the bottom of the bag. I burnt two fingers and set the carpet on fire before I realized these were not candles. Well, that got the living room warmed up and by the light of the carpet fire, I realized that these were small jelly jars .

I got the carpet fire out successfully (the cat didn’t seem to mind that I used him to knock the fire out, in fact he looked kind of glad that his winter coat could be good for something other than merely covering his bones and he cleaned up real good afterward) and then I looked closely at the jelly jars and found that not much had been eaten out of each one! Thank you! They sure look good and I’ll have some on toast in the morning.

I found that great little bottle of coconut liqueur and being tired and cold, I thought I could use a lift, so I took a big swig. Was I ever surprised to find that those creative folks at the Bellagio had gone and put body lotion into that cute little liqueur bottle! Now that is clever marketing!

It didn’t take long to rinse my mouth and I ate a couple of those gold wrapped chocolate mints you included and they worked well to take the bitterness out and it was a pleasure I can tell you!

I know by the way that lotion stuck to my teeth and tongue that it sure will do well sticking to my body and keeping the moisture in when I do decide to use it.

For now, I’ve decided to put that bottle on a shelf in my kitchen so I can surprise a couple of my friends with a taste when they come over.

My boyfriend was really flattered when I pulled out that great big condom you gave me. He had a little bit of trouble getting it on. I realized that I hadn’t had my glasses on when I opened it………the box DID say “Shower Cap”.

We got a laugh out of that and the rest of the night went well, what with that little bottle of Maple Syrup you had included and all.

The ketchup in the little jar is my favorite. I’ll just keep re-filling it, and I’ll it put on the table when I go to business meetings with my graphic design clients. I’ll say, “Oh, that’s from lunch at the Bellagio with my last client.”

I figure I can use it for leverage when I have to add expenses into my job estimates. “Must have lunch at the Bellagio for Creative Inspiration”. Thank you!

As for the Bellagio gift bag and pen, I figure I’ll carry those into the next four star hotel I go into looking for a room without a reservation.

When the desk clerk asks for a credit card, I’ll tap the Bellagio pen on the desk, as I display the Bellagio bag prominently while I search in my bag and say, “Must’ve left my card at the Bellagio…….Gold, Platinum, mmmm, now which one was it?”

And the soap and the shampoo…Well, I plan to take a nice, long hot bath, wash my hair and soap up really good, rinse off and then spend the evening writing at home in front of the fire, smelling of really good Bellagio perfume and knowing that a friend thought of me on her vacation and cared enough to bring me gifts.

Humorously Yours,


©Rosalyn Stevenson (All rights reserved)